Parrot English

We have owned our new house in the Dordogne for more than a year now. I am pleased to report all is well and we are very happy with the renovation work so far embarked upon which has included rewiring the house throughout.

The purpose of starting this blog was to give a “tongue - in - cheek” account of an ex-pat living in what is known in local parlance as Dordogneshire and which boasts the highest number of British homeowners in France.

It has not been a disappointing experience. In the main we have met an enthusiastic bunch of my fellow countrymen. They include a satellite TV expert from Yorkshire called Chris whose pastime is competing in marathon’s all over France including running half way up Mont Blanc, a retired old Etonian wine grower who claims to have put Bergerac on the map, a lady who has been successfully selling Farrow and Ball paints from her beautifully designed shop in Eymet, a charming bar owner in the same town called Rupert whose French is fluent and an architect with a beautiful Perigordine house near La Force and our neighbours Peter and Christine, a retired couple from Sussex who have lived in the Dordogne for 6 years. Christine helps put together the monthly freesheet called La Petite Gazette and they have both joined the Boule club in Bouniagues. Before that Peter had been running a bar on the Costa del Sol. Other Brits we have met in markets, shops, bars and restaurants have, in the main been friendly, helpful and enthusiastic about living in France.

There have, however, been some exceptions. There are a few who have made no effort to learn the language of the country they have chosen to reside and have made equally little effort to integrate with the French only mixing with their own. It is therefore not surprising that they find it difficult to understand or cope with living in a very different culture. To give you one example, last week my wife, Lyndia was looking for a house owned by Irish friends in a small village near Duras when she stopped at a roadside house to ask the way. She asked in French if the lady of the house could tell her the directions to Puysserampion, 3 kms away. The reply came back in English:

“Never heard of it.”

As her husband went off to look for a local map Lyndia said:

“Your husband is very kind”

“No he’s not”, she scowled.

“You must love it here, what a lovely position,” Lyndia replied.

“No we don’t .We hate it. We’ve got 38 parrots here and parrot food has doubled in price” came the retort.

Another example of someone living in glorious ignorance is recounted in the June issue of French Property News in the “Postbag” section. It reads as follows:

“In our village of Lauzerte, Tarn et garonne an Englishmen was seen going into every shop with a photograph of some nails asking loudly:

“”Avez- vous?”” to each shopkeeper, pointing at the picture.

“Our French language teacher Karen, who lives nearby, went over to help, and was amazed to find that he had actually lived in France for 7 years. When she asked if he would be interested in learning some French he replied:

““No need I’ve peaked!””