Saturday 6th June

Neil Morrissey


The Ryanair flight to Bergerac from Stansted was packed. I was one of the last to board but luckily on the front row there was a spare seat – the middle of three by the front exit which have extra leg room. By the window sat a distinguished looking English gent wearing a linen suit and brown loafers reading the Daily Telegraph. In the right seat by the aisle wearing jeans, tea shirt and a scruffy pair of blue trainers was the actor Neil Morrissey.

I am a bit of a fan of Neil Morrissey and liked him in the TV sitcom Men Behaving Badly. That was until I sighted him a year ago in a supermarket in Fumel, in the Lot et Garonne. On that occasion when he saw that I may have recognised him he stared back at me fiercely I later spied him downing several pressions in the bar of the same supermarket.

This time he seemed friendly enough and apologised for leaving his brief case on the middle seat. I was careful not to show any recognition and instead read the racing pages of The Times. It was Derby day and I had backed Sea the Stars in a reverse forecast with Fame and Glory.

The stewardess asked if we wanted any drinks. Morrissey ordered a whisky which came in two sealed plastic sachets. This, he thought, was amusing. I ordered a gin and tonic and along came the gin, also in two plastic sachets – a double like his whisky I presumed.

This broke the ice -excuse the pun - and we started chatting. He had bought a house four years ago near Monflanquin, Lot et Garonne about 50 kilometres south of Bergerac four years ago. He said he loved it there and spent as much time as possible between shows “chilling out” at his house. He said that sadly he would only be in France for a couple of weeks as he was due back in London to rehearse for the lead role in a play called Rain Man –the same role that Dustin Hoffman played in the film of the same name about an autistic savant.

Morrissey explained that researching the role had been amazing and that he hadn’t realised quite how brilliant people afflicted with this disability were. I mentioned that I had come across someone I thought fitted this bill - a charming, soft spoken assistant at a garden centre near Alexander Palace. He knew the Latin and common name of every plant in the place, all their characteristics and when and how to plant them.

“Did you notice that they don’t look at you when they’re speaking?” Morrissey asked me.

I agreed that this was definitely the case with the young gardener at Alexandra Palace who appeared to be mentally and spiritually on a higher plain. While being extremely helpful and courteous he avoided any physical or eye contact.